The Second Most Beautiful Girl in New York
Looking for love but finding lust in the city of men
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Men of Manhattan
A while back, a friend of mine boasted that he was spending time with a hot transsexual. Now, my friend—let’s call him Ryan—is quite the ladies’ man. Despite his perplexing androgynous style—tight jeans, guy-liner, the occasional wig—Ryan always shows up with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
Now he was dating a tranny, and talking about it as casually as if he’d recently begun incorporating onions in his scrambled eggs. He went on and on about how she was “totally fucking hot, man. Probably one of the hottest transsexuals in the world; it’s probably between her and some Thai boy.”
On a recent evening, I met the woman in question, the beautiful Jamie Clayton, at a bar in the Lower East Side. She is 5-foot-10, has long, wavy red hair, porcelain skin and big blue eyes. She sat upright in her stool, long bare legs draped on top of each other exposing upper reaches of thigh under a gray cloth miniskirt.
Now 30 and a makeup artist, she grew up as a boy in San Diego. Her father, Howard, who recently passed away, was a criminal defense attorney. Her mother, Shelley, is an event planner. Jamie always knew she was different. She used to stare at the hideous beast between her legs and wish it gone. She hardly ever touched it; never once out of pleasure.
I asked her if she was gay in high school.
“I guess,” she said. “I was gay by default. I was always just so feminine. I don’t think anyone who ever met me would describe me as a man.”
In junior high, she won the top awards for math and science, but the prospect of high school terrified her. She wound up at a magnet school for kids who’d been thrown out of other schools. She said that while her father might not have understood her, they got on well because she never got in trouble and brought home excellent grades. She wanted to be a makeup artist. Shortly after high school, it dawned on her that she should move to New York.
“I just woke up and something just clicked in my brain,” she said. “And I was like, ‘I need to be in New York; New York is fabulous.’”
It wasn’t until she got to New York that she realized a sex change was an option. She would go to Limelight and other kids would ask her if she had started taking hormones.
“I was like, ‘What’s that?!’ And that was that.”
The day she got health insurance, she began cold-calling doctors and asking them if they had experience working with transgender patients. No, no, no, no. Finally a doctor on the Upper West Side said yes. But it took another five years before she could save the money. All along she was taking the hormones.
“There was an almost instant calming effect that sort of like washed over me,” she said. “After being on them for a couple of months, they made me incredibly emotional at times. I’d find myself acting a little cuckoo, and then I’d realize, ‘Oh, my body’s sort of going through a change right now.’”
After a subtle boob job, Jamie was soon attracting the men she was looking for: What she would call straight men who have a taste for transsexuals and choose to ignore the extra baggage.
She met a photographer at a club; they dated for two and a half years. He said he loved her; they gave it a real go. He finally said he couldn’t deal. Now he’s married, has kids.
Then came a magazine writer. They had been dating a couple months, just having fun, so Jamie thought. Then one day out of nowhere:
“I’ll never forget it; I was 23 or 24,” she said. “I remember a very specific moment when we were literally in the middle of having sex and he asked me if I was in love with him. I had just broken up with [the photographer] shortly before, and I was like, ‘Why are you asking me that right now?’ And he said he knew that I liked him a lot, and that we got along really well, and he thought I was falling in love with him. So I said to him, ‘Are you in love with me?’ And his response was, ‘I can’t be in love with you.’ And I literally got up and put my clothes on and left and never spoke to him again.
“It was in that moment that I learned that I would never put myself in a situation, or that I would try incredibly hard to avoid situations where—because I thought that was really incredibly shitty for someone to say something like that: ‘Oh, I can’t be in love with you.’ Why? Because I’m different, because I’m a freak? Because your parents wouldn’t like it, because your friends wouldn’t like it? It hurt a lot. It sucked.” Next Page >
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Fact is, Jamie has been a woman since the day she was born. The common mis-conception is one "changes sex". This process is all about making one physically equal one's mind, soul and spirit. After a few years post vaginoplasty, even an experienced gynecologist could have trouble knowing she had a vaginoplasty and what her genitalia would have been like in the past. As for sex, everything works as it should, been there done that. As for her femininity, many TS women know precisely who they are and are not afraid of expressing their femininity. The general public simply does not understand it is very possible to be born with a mind different than their physical body since this is a question they usually never need to question.
"Tranny" is considered derogatory term for referring to gender different individuals, not acceptable and insulting.
Great article Spencer Morgan. I am loving the "Men of Manhattan" column. A much needed dash of excitement for my Wednesday mornings.
No. The TRUE fact is. He WAS BORN A MAN and He changed his sex from a man to a woman but no amount of mind, soul, and spirit can wish away the truth. The body is more than a vessel, it is the physical manifestation of what you are. In this case, Jamie was and is a man. A man who had wonderful plastic surgery to make him into what he truly desired. Now he looks like a woman and feels better about himself. Thats great and I wish him well, but lets not ignore the truth. As for Tranny, I agree that it is a pretty derogatory term but what can one do except educate others and move on. Good luck with your own change Dude...
A TRUE fact? As opposed to a false fact? Facts are by definition true, dude. Otherwise they aren't facts.
This is just one womans' opinion so take it for what its worth. I'm sure there are other trans people who would disagree with what I'm about to say, and thats fine.
She should stop telling people from here on out. Just stop.
Nothing good comes from bringing up her history. The longer she lives in her new life, the less important it will be to her, and ultimately to the guy she falls in love with and marries.
Yoou rock Morgan, but, for your own well being, stop talking about it.
know what else is derogatory? referring to someone who clearly identifies as a woman using male pronouns. it's pretty rude to insist on assigning the gender you think a person should have to them just to prove a point
You know what, she has every right to be honest about her transsexuality if she wants to. She has every fucking right to be honest about it. Sure some transsexuals want to integrate completely, but some of us are very very out and proud about who we are. I don't mind anyone knowing. In fact, I prefer people know. Just like some gay guys are very honest about their preferences, shouldn't transsexuals be allowed to be honest without censure?
We have known Jamie socially for years and out of any "trans" person we have ever encountered, she is by far one of the most centered, beautiful, focused and intelligent. She is a truly lovely person that makes most other people looks like unorganized messes. Look out New York, Jamie is back! xox T&M
Ryan sounds like a real douchebag.
"No. The TRUE fact is. He WAS BORN A MAN"
And other like this individual simply cannot believe the realty of nature and feel the need to control another's identity by projecting their beliefs upon them. Note the anger, hostility and hatred in the words of this individual and how clear this individual is not happy or respectful of other members of the human family. It is also very possible this individual has their own gender issues as many who are this angry and fearful of gender issues and successful women like Jamie are a threat and a mirror of what they cannot accept of themselves. Basically, internalized transphobia and possible internalized homophobia.
It seems to me that most of the people who are wanting to harp on the fact of Jamie's sex at birth are the most closed minded people on the planet. She knew her true gender and did what she wanted to do to live life as a confident, happy woman instead of living a miserable and possibly drug-filled (prescription and otherwise) life as a man who might have tried suicide on more than one occaision. These so-called "open minded" fools who can't wait to ridicule a persons choice to be happy make the religious right nut cases look normal. And it also makes them look really insecure. As a 46 year old male who grew up in the South, I applaud Jamie's decision. It's too bad that so many "enlightened" people in New York can't.
For all of you out there who want to talk trash about this young woman -which she really is- I am going to say this: if she had publicly said that she had survived breast, ovarian, colon, or any other cancer or affliction and needed plastic surgery, nobody would EVER dare say a word bad to or about her, now would you? The truth is that for many years of her life she was faced with a terrible medical condition(gender dysphoria)and finally handled business and took care of her problem -that simple.
You people should stop being such whiny losers not to mention a bunch of phonies and get a real life.
It's absolutely possible to get wet as a post-op transwoman. There are different methods of doing genital surgery, which result in varying degrees of wetness. That said, most women, transwomen included, need a little lube to make sure sex is pleasurable. And by the way, Thai surgeons are considered the best in the world these days, with North Americans coming in a close second.
That Ryan guy sounds like a total asshole. Im sorry Jamie even met the guy, he has absolutely no respect for Women but probably deep down inside is incredibly afraid of Women and thats why he has to act like a total dick to cover his insecurity. Shame.
As for Jamie, I wish I could meet her! She sounds like the Woman I would love to be! :)
I've known Jamie for years and believe me, transsexuality is the last thing she talks about in daily conversation. This is an article that is specifically geared towards providing information to the reader. It's educational. Listen, if all the information about transgendered people came from Jerry Springer we'd all be in a lot of trouble.
Live and let live,
We can comment all we want about her...She has taken a choice and was and is happy about it.
Show them girl, they can slap you labels, rebuke you and curse you...But they never can see how good a person you are...
She sounds like a fantastic woman, I am in awe of her composure and aplomb. and while I'm sure Ryan has charming qualities that enticed her to date him I wish her the best in finding someone who doesn't come across as such a wee bit of an asshat. The same goes for Mr.Morgan- while I commend him on writing the article, the undertone of 'Tranny, but hey, a hot chick' makes one want to deck him.
I applaud Jamie for having the courage to speak out, to stand up and be counted in a public way. The secrecy and the shame that prevailed in the past upon those of us who are transsexual must be put firmly in the past. No more living our lives terrified that someone will discover our secret. No more legal discrimination. No more accepting insults from those who believe that we are mentally ill, sexual perverts or prostitutes. We are professors, scientists, business executives, doctors, lawyers, accountants, flight attendants, receptionists, factory workers, and, in short, human beings who seek self-acceptance and friendship and love in the best way we know how -- by being ourselves. Just look at these comments, and think how unacceptable they would now be if they were about her race or religion, and how acceptable such comments would have been fifty years ago. It is time for the people of America to recognize their own prejudices about transgender people for what they are. If you want to learn more about the issues I and other transgender people are facing, see my blog on transgender workplace diversity at http://transworkplace.blogspot.com
Dr. Jillian T. Weiss
Professor of Law and Society
Ramapo College of New Jersey
I know Facts are by definition true bozo, I was responding to the previous poster who made a false statement and claimed that it was fact. Sooo, I called my fact a "true" fact to distinguish it from their "false" fact. Get a clue..
It feels bizarre to think how many centuries have gone by where people born the wrong gender had little or no recourse, where even crossdressing would bring shame from everyone they knew -- that finally a part of the human condition has been made easier because of technology and medicine. And within a few years, hopefully Jamie's story will be that of many other trans women.
(By the way, my trans friends use "Tranny" all the time, though they sure as hell wouldn't like to hear some dude in a bar yell it out.)
"It is also very possible this individual has their own gender issues as many who are this angry and fearful of gender issues and successful women like Jamie are a threat and a mirror of what they cannot accept of themselves. Basically, internalized transphobia and possible internalized homophobia."
Its amusing to read this reply. You obviously fancy yourself an intelligent person, yet suggest that the poster has psychological issues based on what is clearly an opinion. Maybe his use of caps was his way of making a point. After all, I see no anger as he was merely stating the truth. Jamie was indeed born a man. How does that translate into your pseudo diagnosis of "internalized transphobia and possible internalized homophobia"?
I've always known you're the MOST beautiful girl in NYC!!!
I am Jamie's sister Toni. She is the light of my life. She is bright, articulate and extremely self aware. I am so proud of her and consider her the bravest person I know. After reading this article I could only hope that this will open the minds of people who have never encountered the kind of adversity my sister has seen. She has grown up to be more mature, compassionate and understanding than most people I know. She is a fantastic person inside and out. I love her with all my heart and know that she will continue to light up the world with her candor and amazing sense of humor.
Until you can actually change your Y chromosome to an X, and internally (without MD help) conceive, carry to term, and give birth to a child; you are a man. I'm sorry, but from where I sit, trying to lie to yourself about that will only hurt you in the long run. I don't care that you went and had surgery. I don't care that you're technically gay. I do take exception to the fact that you are perpetuating a lie so that you can convince yourself you did the right thing. You may look, smell, tallk, and taste like a woman; yet it is ALL just permanent makeup. If you are happy with living like a woman good for you! I do not begrudge your happiness at all. Just make sure it is honest happiness.
To those who say to forget your past and stop talking about it:
Are you completely loopy? How do ever expect to have any basis for an honest relationship with anyone? All you do is compound the lie.
If you take anything from this at all these days it is not enough to "know thyself," but you have to be honest with thyself. Only then will you be able to do right by yourself and others.
Hey by the way—plenty of women have Y chromosomes, does that make them men?
The above post was written by a someone who should worry about there own lies.
"I I do not begrudge your happiness at all. Just make sure it is honest happiness."
sounds like you're bedrudging happiness to me.
"Permanent Make-up?" what the f is that?
move forward dont look back.
If you dont care if she had surgery or did this or that then why write the comment?
why should anyone care what you had to say.
Hey by the way—plenty of women have Y chromosomes, does that make them men?
The above post was written by a someone who should worry about there own lies.
"I I do not begrudge your happiness at all. Just make sure it is honest happiness."
sounds like you're bedrudging happiness to me.
"Permanent Make-up?" what the f is that?
move forward dont look back.
If you dont care if she had surgery or did this or that then why write the comment?
why should anyone care what you had to say.
Jamie is a beautiful woman and her medical hisotry neither changes her womanhood nor makes her somehow "less-than."
To the poster who insists that she is not a she. You are simply scared to death of your own sense that she is beautiful.
Get a clue. If you are unable to find it within yourself to face you, Jamie will remain intelligent, beautiful and a wonderful woman.
You, on the other hand will merely remain benighted, ignorant and totally oblivious to yourself.
i am sure you intentions are the best but.... I have been blessed with a body that "allows me to move about freely" but like many trans people find open and frank discussion in the very beginning of a relationship encourages mutual respect and admiration. Be out and proud of who you are.
You were always a woman, you just needed to have your body match your soul. I wish I had the same opportunity to do the same. You'll find true love someday, with someone who deserves you.
Marisol
Why is she the SECOND most beautiful girl in New York?